I Didn't Know
by Ai Usagi
Summary: TamaHaru TamakixHaruhi Real sweet fluff. T because manga is rated T..... First chapter is from Tamaki's POV. Second chapter is from Haruhi's POV. All the I didn't knows of what they think about each other.


I Didn't Know……

By Ai Usagi

Disclaimer: I do not own the manga of Ouran High School Host Club in any way, but I draw well enough that I could pose as the owner…..

Author's Note: SPOILERS!!!!! This is from Tamaki's POV. Although I might put parts in the story that are in Haruhi's POV. It all depends…. I'm starting with the current stuff happening, and then later going back into the manga. Maybe I'll add a second chapter and that will be from Haruhi's POV? Events may be out of order….

Tamaki's POV

I didn't know. How was I supposed to know? I didn't know that Grandma would do that. I didn't know that I'll probably never see you again. How do I know? How do I know the future? I can't read minds, I can't see the future. As you see, life is full of questions that will never be answered. Even I have my questions, some that I fear will never be answered, and feelings that will never be returned. There will be things in the world that I want, but I will not get, even with all the money in the world. I don't know how, but everyone else but me has figured that out. I guess I'm just a blind fool playing for your affections.

I didn't know that that girl loved me. But, that sad look on her eyes, even though I rejected her, I thought how much she was like you. Everyone was also telling me how much she resembled you. I could tell by the look on their faces, they thought that I would truly fall in love with that girl. I don't care how much she resembles you, you're still you, and I will not trade you for anyone else. I heard them talking about how she was so much like my fantasy you, but she's not! All of those fake fantasy yous I imagine, they're still never as good as the real thing. I can never even dream of replacing you, never in a million years!

I didn't know what to think when you hurt that poor girl so bad! As much as I love you, you have no rights to make her think what you want her to think about your family situation! I have no idea what you were thinking at that moment, but it was that moment alone and many other things why I turned that girl down so many times. It took me so long to realize it. I can't believe, I always just thought those feelings were just fatherly affections, but I was wrong. I don't know if you feel the same about me, but I love you.

I didn't know what to think when I saw you spying over the bush whispering for them to be quiet while you watched her and I. I honestly thought you just wanted to eat some of the lunch she prepared. I had no idea you were spying on us. I still don't know why you were spying on us. Could it be jealousy? That I highly doubt. It's obvious that my feelings will never be returned. I know that very well. If I can't be your father or your lover, I guess I am just a single fleck of dust in the wind.

I didn't know that Kaouru had felt that way about you, and that we would split up as a family towards the end. He also wanted to be with you, but he has probably failed even more than I have. If only I knew that our family would one day split up with Mori and Hunny going different paths into university, Kaouru fighting me for you, and Kyoya and Hikaru trying desperately to protect me from what has already happened. Maybe this is what I feared all along… Us all splitting apart. No, that was not what I feared. What I feared was falling for you, and now it's come true. You want to know what the worst part is. It's not being able to be with you anymore. I can no longer bear not to walk with you to your classes, protect and make sure you're safe, I want to embrace you, I want to kiss you gently, but I know that will never happen.

I didn't know how to talk to you after that one accidental kiss. But to think I could barely brush my teeth after the incident. I was even ready to prepare a wedding, which was kind of stupid. Even Antoinette, my dog, knew it was incident. And to think it was not that long after I could no longer proceed in club activities due to my grandmother moving me to the main house and having me only study Suoh related business, which you already knew, because I came to your apartment, even though you slammed the door on me. I'm still so confused on the whole thing, because right after that you invited me in for lunch, but I guess that's just one of the reasons why I love you so much.

I didn't know what you were talking about when you were ill with that fever. I thought you were just delusional. All of a sudden, it was just so weird to hear that. Although I'm grateful for that. Thank you for saying that. I now get it, even though I didn't then. I now get it, all because of a few words. But there's still something I'm confused about? Before you fainted, you said something about "When did you say that?" It was so confusing, especially right after Kousouka said "Experiences of all kinds" or something like that. I couldn't help but get mad at her, saying you didn't work hard, saying all kinds of horrible things of that sort, I couldn't but try to protect you, that's all I want to do. I want to protect you from the world and never let you out of my sight, but even I am not that stupid. Not me, not the New Tamaki.

There are many other things I do not know, I didn't know, and I will never know. I do not know what the warmth of your love feels like, I didn't know how I truly felt about you for the longest of times, and I suppose I will never be able to tell how I feel, but that is just how life goes. With lots of 'ifs' and 'buts' when you just don't realize how good love feels until it is forbidden. And the most important part, 'I didn't know'.

End of chapter 1

Stay tuned for chapter 2 which will be in Haruhi's POV! Sorry it was so short everyone, my hand were starting to hurt because before this, I was drawing the OHSHC's characters, and they require so much detail…..-_-"


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